E.L. Williams-official site
Last night I sobbed myself to sleep.  No I did not cry softly to sleep, I released big huge sobs that were so fierce my bed shook like it was in an earthquake.  Why, you may ask?  Because I was forced to take a good hard honest look at myself and I wasn't sure I liked what I saw.
I am pretty (according to most people) without ever wearing a lick of makeup.  I have a shapely body (though it is covered with a few extra lbs.)  I have hair that most women would love but I wear it up everyday.  I am a very, very low-maintenance, laid-back individual.  To me comfort is more important than style.  Now I should clarify, I'm not a slob but I am perfectly comfortable in jeans and a sweatshirt and that is my outfit of choice 99.99% of the time.
Here's the problem, men are very visual creatures.  They like flash.  They like sex appeal.  They like style.  And though what I have to offer is far deeper than my looks, shape or hair, men want to see that.  For 37 years I have tried hard to downplay my looks.  I do not want someone that only wants me because they think I will look good on their arm.  I want someone that says wow E is the most amazing woman on the inside and that makes her outside irresistible (regardless of how I actually look)  And for 37 years I have had to listen to people say if you only (fill-in-the blank) you would be so beautiful.  For 37 years I have said I do not want to do those things to be considered beautiful.
Well once again last night I was reminded that I do not go the extra mile or even the extra centimeter to make myself up and once again I was reminded that as much as I do not want to admit it, LOOKS MATTER!
So I spent last night sobbing, asking The Lord to send me someone that would see me for who I am and not how I look but feeling as though perhaps I have to doll myself up just to get the chance for someone to appreciate my inside.
So where can I take lessons on dressing like a lady?!  (I already act like one)

Striving forward,

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